The Hugging Judge

'Don't bug me! Hug me!' - Bumper Sticker

Lee Shapiro is a retired judge. He is also one of the most genuinely loving people we know. At one point in his career, Lee realized that love is the greatest power there is. As a result, Lee became a hugger. He began offering everybody a hug. His colleagues dubbed him "the hugging judge" (as opposed to the hanging judge, we suppose). The bumper sticker on his car reads, "Don't bug me! Hug me!"

About six years ago Lee created what he calls his Hugger Kit. On the outside it reads "A heart for a hug." The inside contains thirty little red embroidered hearts with stickums on the back. Lee will take out his Hugger Kit, go around to people and offer them a little red heart in exchange for a hug.

Lee has become so well known for this that he is often invited to keynote conferences and conventions, where he shares his message of unconditional love. At a conference in San Francisco, the local news media challenged him by saying, "It is easy to give out hugs here in the conference to people who self-selected to be here. But this would never work in the real world."

They challenged Lee to give away some hugs on the streets of San Francisco. Followed by a television crew from the local news station, Lee went out onto the street. First he approached a woman walking by. "Hi, I'm Lee Shapiro, the hugging judge. I'm giving out these hearts in exchange for a hug." "Sure," she replied. "Too easy," challenged the local commentator. Lee looked around. He saw a meter maid who was being given a hard time by the owner of a BMW to whom she was giving a ticket. He marched up to her, camera crew in tow, and said, "You look like you could use a hug. I'm the hugging judge and I'm offering you one." She accepted.

The television commentator threw down one final challenge. "Look, here comes a bus. San Francisco bus drivers are the toughest, crabbiest, meanest people in the whole town. Let's see you get him to hug you." Lee took the challenge.

As the bus pulled up to the curb, Lee said, "Hi, I'm Lee Shapiro, the hugging judge. This has got to be one of the most stressful jobs in the whole world. I'm offering hugs to people today to lighten the load a little. Would you like one?" The six-foot-two, 230-pound bus driver got out of his seat, stepped down and said, "Why not?"

Lee hugged him, gave him a heart and waved good-bye as the bus pulled out. The TV crew was speechless. Finally, the commentator said, "I have to admit, I'm very impressed."

One day Lee's friend Nancy Johnston showed up on his doorstep. Nancy is a professional clown and she was wearing her clown costume, makeup and all. "Lee, grab a bunch of your Hugger Kits and let's go out to the home for the disabled."

When they arrived at the home, they started giving out balloon hats, hearts and hugs to the patients. Lee was uncomfortable. He had never before hugged people who were terminally ill, severely retarded or quadriplegic. It was definitely a stretch. But after a while it became easier, with Nancy and Lee acquiring an entourage of doctors, nurses and orderlies who followed them from ward to ward.

After several hours they entered the last ward. These were 34 of the worst cases Lee had seen in his life. The feeling was so grim it took his heart away. But out of their commitment to share their love and to make a difference, Nancy and Lee started working their way around the room followed by the entourage of medical staff, all of whom by now had hearts on their collars and balloon hats on their heads.

Finally, Lee came to the last person, Leonard. Leonard was wearing a big white bib which he was drooling on. Lee looked at Leonard dribbling onto his bib and said, "Let's go, Nancy. There's no way we can get through to this person." Nancy replied, "C'mon, Lee. He's a fellow human being, too, isn't he?" Then she placed a funny balloon hat on his head. Lee took one of his little red hearts and placed it on Leonard's bib. He took a deep breath, leaned down and gave Leonard a hug.

All of a sudden Leonard began to squeal, "Eeeeehh! Eeeeeehh!" Some of the other patients in the room began to clang things together. Lee turned to the staff for some sort of explanation only to find that every doctor, nurse and orderly was crying. Lee asked the head nurse, "What's going on?"

Lee will never forget what she said: "This is the first time in 23 years we've ever seen Leonard smile."

How simple it is to make a difference in the lives of others.

-- from investwise

reconciliation

Reconciliation is to understand both sides;
to go to one side and describe the suffering
being endured by the other side, and then go
to the other side and describe the suffering
being endured by the first side.

- Thich Nhat Hahn (Cool Tricks and Trinkets #396)

The problem with the world

"The whole problem with the world is that fools
and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts."

~ Bertrand Russell (Cool Tricks and Trinkets #393, also Notable Quotables 6/2/05)

Some Things To Consider

The most destructive habits .................. Worry and Assumption
The greatest Joy ............................. Giving
The greatest loss ............................ Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work ..................... Helping others
The ugliest personality trait ................ Selfishness
The most endangered species .................. Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource ................ Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm" ............... Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome ............. Fear
The most effective sleeping pill ............. Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease ........... Excuses
The most powerful force in life .............. Love
A dangerous pariah ........................... A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer ......... The brain
The worst things to be without ............... Hope and Humor
The deadliest weapon ......................... The tongue
The two most power-filled words .............. "I Can"
The greatest asset ........................... Faith
The most worthless emotion ................... Self-pity
The most beautiful attire .................... A SMILE!
The most prized possession ................... Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication ... Prayer
The most contagious spirit ................... Enthusiasm

-- Phillips Brooks (Contributed by Pamela Poland)
from Cool Tricks and Trinkets #387
(note: the atttribution to Phillips Brooks is probably spurious. The above is on various sites with Author Unknown. Plus computers weren't around in Phllips Brooks' time)

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have a dream that my four little children
will one day live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.

~Martin Luther King Jr. (from Cool Tricks and Trinkets #386)

Irritation

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an
understanding about ourselves.

- Carl Jung (Notable Quotables Weekly, 1/19/06)

Our Responsibility

We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not
unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of
thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we
can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on.

- Richard Feynman (Notable Quotables Weekly, 1/19/06)

How Do I Change?

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.

- Og Mandino, "The Greatest Salesman in the World"

[from Cool Tricks and Trinkets #383]

Gratitude

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It turns what we have into enough, and more.

It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order,
confusion to clarity.

It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home,
a stranger into a friend.

Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow."

~ Melody Beattie ~

(Trick and Trinkets #378)

The Adventurer

You can not lived sheltered forever without ever being exposed,
and at the same time be a spiritual adventurer.

Be audacious. Be crazy in your own way, with that maddness in
the eyes of man that is wisdom in the eyes of god.

Takes risks, search and search again, search everywhere,
in every way, do not let a single opportunity or chance
that life offers pass you by, and do not be petty and mean,
trying to drive a hard bargain.

- Arnaud Desjardins (Cool Tricks and Trinkets #377)

in the dark

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

- Confucius (Notable Quotables 11/17/05)

the formula of zen

"What is the zen life itself? We can put it in a formula:
Infinite gratitude towards all things past.
Infinite service to all things present.
Infinite responsibility to all things future."

- Huston Smith quoting his Zen Roshi (from Cool Tricks and Trinkets #375)

Two Wolves

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

- email forwarded from rayglenn

eye for an eye

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind - Mahatma Gandhi

from Tricks and Trinkets #373

questionable advice

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own
reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he
contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous
structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a
little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.

- Albert Einstein (notable quotables, 2/17/05)

positive thinking

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?

- Ronnie Shakes (Notable Quotables Weekly, 6/23/05)

So certain are you

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always
so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

- Bertrand Russell (NotableQuotables)

No Ambition

Meditate with no thought of gain.
Expect no ambitions to be fulfilled.
Only then will the inner force manifest.

TAO [not Yoda?]

- Cool Trink and Trinkets #351

Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond
your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon
you. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

-- Notable Quotables, 5/19/05

The Box

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most...was...my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"


"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."